The Kind of Honest that Heals

Come Sit a Spell, Sugar Lump...

Come here, Beloved.

Sit down.

Let me tell you something that took me years to learn.

You do not have to carry everything.

You’re not responsible for everyone’s mood, nor everyone’s expectations. That unspoken tension in a room ain’t yours to carry, and you ain’t responsible for managing the emotional climate of the world.

Maybe you feel like being the steady one means you gotta be the strong one too, but, Beloved, trust me when I say that strength don’t mean you gotta hold onto everything. It don’t mean absorbing all the emotions in the room while not being allowed to feel your own. And it dang sure don’t mean every uncomfortable situation is yours to fix.

Maybe it don’t even need to be fixed. Sometimes, being the strong one means letting other people feel their own feelings. Its ok to let silence sit for a minute. Just cuz a thing feels uncomfortable don’t mean you gotta rush to fix it.

How’s that tea? Breathe with me and let your shoulders drop. In for a count of four. Hold for four. Out for four. Hold for four. Now breathe normal.

Feel your shoulders drop.

You don’t need to do anything to earn love. You don’t always have to “be useful”. You can rest without feeling guilty. Tell that guilt monster it can kiss where the sun don’t shine.

The wisdom is simple.

Stay soft.
Stay clear.
Stay honest.

And baby…you don’t always have to be nice!
Being nice has its place, but the truth, as they say, will set you free. Always be true to yourself, and speak your truth no matter who likes it or who doesn’t. If you have to shrink to stay liked, then that situation and those people are not for you, Beloved.

You can truthful and still be gentle. Just mean what you say. That’s the kind of honest I’m talking about.

And when in doubt, come sit with me. Maybe we can figure it out together.

Ashe, Amen, and Ayibobo

—Papa Eli| I of the Beholder